Toilet Paper Teachings

Never are we more resourceful than when the toilet paper is running out. We get by cleaning our bum with 2-3 (sometimes thin) squares-per-wipe.

It’s impressive, really.

Yet, time and time again, we overuse TP when it’s in abundance — a new roll — without considering how near we come (and how frequently we get) to the despair of having a messy poo and only a few squares until total depletion.

At full-roll we like to ‘once-bunch’ rather than ‘fold-wipe-fold-wipe’, and that’s just wasteful. Worst of all, the selfish ‘bunch-er’ may not be the one who has to face the diminishing tissue.

When the TP is gone, some folks have even resorted to using the cardboard roll for a final, desperate wipe (guilty… judge me). We’re often willing to do dirty things when we have no other choice. We’re a resilient species.

Why can’t we wipe every time like the roll is almost empty?

To a similar accord:

  • We take advantage of generous friends and the time + energy they offer
  • We overuse natural resources until they’re nearly gone, or harder to harvest
  • We abuse love relationships for a random affair and ruin a healthy family dynamic

It’s much wiser to wipe efficiently from the beginning. The frequency of TP Emergencies will go way down, and we’ll all be better for it.


By the way, can someone at Bristol Farms in Manhattan Beach, CA walk to the back right corner of the grocery store and bring me a roll? Thanks.

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JAKOB GOLLON

Master Your Craft | Tirelessly Curious. There's more to a person than an "about me" section.

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